


Allen Walker's First Kiss...

by Seth_s_Kiss



Category: D.Gray-man
Genre: Friendship, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-02
Updated: 2021-03-02
Packaged: 2021-03-15 02:33:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,175
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29801607
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Seth_s_Kiss/pseuds/Seth_s_Kiss
Summary: Oneshot: Allen's first kiss...was not Road Kamelot as everyone had first assumed. Join Lavi, Kanda and Lenalee as they discover the unexpected truth on a late night completely free of duty and duress. Canon-Divergent. Written just for laughs, but contains slight spoilers if you squint. 2020 EDIT.
Kudos: 5





	Allen Walker's First Kiss...

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Hi there! I'm Seth's Kiss and I've been writing here for exactly a year now. So, two things that you should preferably know about me: I adore Manga and Anime series more than life itself (hence most of my writings are about them); and most (not all, but most) of my fics are of a dark nature (because it's a lot easier for me than writing anything too schmaltzy), but I do have my moments. Anything else you wish to know about me, feel free to check out my profile or PM me.
> 
> Warnings: This fanfiction will be rated M, only because most of my fics are labelled as such and I really didn't want to change my criteria (given that stumbling on my other work, by 'accident', is not something I'm too keen on). Besides, the themes I use are definitely not for children. Also, I usually am not too fond of writing with cuss words, yet do expect to find one or two, here and there. Again, if these themes or anything else doesn't appeal to you, either because it offends you or you are still underage, please, do not read it... Thank you for your consideration.
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own D Gray Man or its characters (they all belong to Katsura Hoshino); I do own everything else however (plot, ideas and stuff), as it all comes from my eccentric, endless imagination (I really wish there was an off-button at times). I'd also like to apologize in advance if the characters are in any way O.O.C, so please let me know when you believe they are. I mean, I try as hard as I can to keep them in character (as we all try to do as fanfic writers, I believe), but I tend to let my writing take over my imagination at times.
> 
> Official Summary: Allen's first kiss...was not Road Kamelot as everyone had first assumed. Join Lavi, Kanda and Lenalee as they discover the unexpected truth on a late night completely free of duty and duress. Written just for laughs, but contains slight spoilers if you squint.
> 
> Note: If I am to give a specific timeline for this fic, let's say it occurs after the entire D Gray Man anime series (like, somewhere after episode 103) and quite some time before D Gray Man: Hallow.
> 
> Another Note: Italics (which is this) will be used for two reasons here. One, for emphasis in dialogues; and two, for a passage which refers to a flashback.

"Man, it feels so good to be doin' nothin' at all!" exclaimed Lavi breezily, as he fell face first into a set of soft, fluffy cushions, his expression utterly delighted "We should do this all the time."

Lenalee laughed good-naturedly as she, Kanda and Allen each settled down within the narrow yet pristine clean walls of an inn's room, all making themselves equally comfortable as their companion.

It had been a long and laborious day, especially since solely the four of them - given the major lack of active exorcists nowadays - had been assigned to protect a small yet thriving town from an outstanding onslaught of Akuma.

The latter had come as a horde, raining down ruthlessly all over the place, destroying everything in their way. It had been quite a challenge to keep them from attacking the townspeople in their way, but our four exorcists managed, somehow. But not without their fair share of varied injuries however.

Along with the usual array of bandages all four of them harboured, Allen had a couple of broken ribs, Lenalee had a bruised and scratched back with deep gashes, whereas Lavi had sustained near critical damage to one of his legs - now in a cast - and was currently moving around with crutches. As for Kanda, as always, had not been careful, going overboard, and this time it had almost cost him his right arm, which was now stitched up nicely and in a carefully made cast.

Why the Akuma had chosen this specific town to raid so viciously was still a mystery and something the Black Order was currently investigating upon, whilst Allen and the other three were taking the well-deserved respite they required after this endeavour.

The townspeople were tremendously grateful, so grateful that they took it upon themselves to take care of them at the pinnacle of their abilities, providing them with medicine and medical treatment, money, food and shelter. And despite having been turned down by the exorcists repeatedly, they had insisted and persisted until Allen and the others finally gave in, both humbled and grateful by their kindness.

Hence, here they were, all lounging in an inn's room, free of charge, taking a rest and healing up nicely.

"I can't say I can agree with you, Lavi," commented the young white-haired boy sternly, as he sat himself next to Lavi, eyeing the latter with stern reproach "As exorcists, it's our duty to always protect others and-"

"Come on, Allen. Don't be so serious. It really doesn't suit you," chided the redhead exorcist playfully as he nudged the other affectionately, before whispering "Leave it all to Yu, ok?"

Said person most likely had super hearing or something, given the way he instantly threw a rather nasty glare in their direction from the other side of the room, where he was sitting near the window - whereas they, were on the couch.

"You have no right to use my first name, Baka Usagi."

"Aw, don't be like that. We're friends, neh, Y- Heh?!"

Lavi paled with his hands raised up in surrender as the swordsman flashed his katana straight in the other's face, while gritting out threateningly: "Say it again. And I'll cut you in half."

"Now, now. Settle down, you two. No fighting tonight. Let's just take it easy and rest and be nice to each other, alright?"

"Yes, ma'am!" declared the redhead with a stunning smile and a silly salute to the only girl in the group, who returned the gesture shyly from where she was on the bed.

"Tch," muttered the Japanese exorcist, rolling his eyes but complying with Lenalee's wishes anyway, as he returned to his spot.

A serene atmosphere then instilled itself in the room, all four lounging in relaxed silence, eyes closed, breathing slow, mind gradually being whisked away by a sweet, soothing sleep.

BUT, no more than five minutes later...

"I'm BORED!" whined Lavi unhappily, startling everyone at first, before Lenalee and Allen both chuckled and sweat-dropped nervously...because Kanda looked quite close to committing a rather gruesome murder up in here.

"You were just saying how happy you were not doing anything."

"But now, I'm bored!"

"MAKE UP YOUR DAMN MIND!" raged aloud the young blue-haired exorcist, a couple of veins exploding viciously on his forehead to convey his high and upmost irritation.

"How about we play a game then?" recommended the girl with a soft smile, sparking Allen's enthusiasm immediately while Kanda cooled down a little, but kept a dark, brooding expression - to his otherwise lovely features.

"That's sounds great, Lenalee-san!" praised the white-haired boy cheerfully, before his eyes sparkled alit with stars "Dibs on poker!"

That idea earned a moment of utter silence, until one of them was brave enough to break it.

"Hey, Allen?"

"Hm?" blinked Allen as he turned towards Lavi, who was staring at him with a wary look.

"No way are we playin' a game where you always win," stated the redhead exorcist doggedly, shaking both his head and hands for good measure.

That seemed to drastically lower the white-haired boy's anticipation: "Really? Shame..."

"It's ok! There are plenty other games we could give a go at!" placated Lenalee optimistically in an effort to elevate Allen's spirits again "Let's see... How about 'L'Avenir'(1)?"

"Too much effort," the white-haired boy sighed, head low, expression gloomy, aura negative.

"I spy?"

"Too little action."

"Paper-scissors-stone?"

"Too out of the question."

"...You just really wanted to play poker, didn't ya?" drawled out Bookman Junior with a lopsided smirk, seeing straight through Allen's act, who in turn nodded once to confirm what everyone so obviously knew.

"If you lot start playing games, I'm out of here," stated the Japanese swordsman resolutely, completely put-off as he smoothly shifted to get up and leave.

"Oh, no. Don't go, Kanda. Please stay with us."

Faltering in his movements, he glanced over at the pouting girl before reluctantly relenting, sitting back down with a deep scowl to his mellowed features: "Tch."

As Lenalee beamed happily at Kanda who in turn tried hard to ignore her glowing happiness, Lavi came up with another idea: "How about we just talked?"

The white-haired boy blinked in puzzlement: "Eh? But where's the fun in that?"

"Wait for it," drawled the redhead slowly with a frisky grin, his tone full of suspense, earning everyone else's attention "We each have to tell each other a secret or answer a very personal question. If we can't, we have to do somethin' really embarrassin'. So what do you think?"

As Lavi eagerly eyed his friends, awaiting their agreement, he literally felt his shoulders droop with Kanda unwaveringly declaring his absolute disapproval: "Hell no."

Even Allen, whilst squirming with great unease, didn't at all agree with the other's allegedly ingenious suggestion: "No, thanks, Lavi."

"I'm in."

Totally taken aback by her assent, both the swordsman and the white-haired boy openly gaped at their female companion, the two boys stammering out in surprise: "L-Lenalee-san?!"

"Then it's two against two. To even the odds, let's flip a coin," she announced giddily with a mischievous glint in her pretty purple doe eyes as she fished for change in her jacket pocket "Heads or tails, boys?"

The odds seemingly weren't in Allen or Kanda's favour at all who, after a really fruitless moment of total disagreement, both grudgingly opted to take 'tails', leaving the other two with 'heads'.

"How does this make it any different from Truth or Dare?" grumbled Allen quietly, still rather unhappy that he wasn't going to win at poker any time soon.

"We don't have a bottle," pointed out Lavi plainly, leading Kanda to glare dark and daggers at him.

"Hilarious."

Impishly ignoring the other much to the latter's utter irritation, the redhead exorcist glanced towards Lenalee with a wide smile: "Wanna go first?"

"Sure!"

The other's wide smile then morphed into one of mischievous triumph: "Who was your first kiss, Lenalee-chan~?"

"LAVI!"

"What? It's just a question," uttered the redhead, stating it as though it was obvious while the other two boys gawked at him in horror and reprimand, before Lavi turned his attention back towards the only girl in the group with curiosity "So, Lenalee-chan~?"

"God, this so embarrassing," she blushed, not at all expecting this, but not willing to back down on playing "Um... I haven't kissed anyone yet."

"Really?" Lavi and Allen both blurted out as they stared at her in awe, eyes wide, as though seeing her in a new light.

The only one who didn't appear to be surprised by this discovery was the swordsman, huffing with an arched eyebrow as he mentioned: "With the brother she has, what did you expect?"

"Right," remembered the redhead, before he then sent heart-filled eyes in Lenalee's direction "Wanna get kissed tonight, my dear~?"

"Lavi," grounded out Kanda and Allen firmly, knowing that their companion was jesting but still finding it highly inappropriate.

Giggling, Lenalee smiled, her initial discomfort waning: "Thank you, Lavi, but I'm truly fond of you. And I don't want my brother to kill you."

The hearts in Bookman Junior's eyes grew even bigger: "You're so sweet, Lenalee-chan! Worrying and caring for me, you're the best!"

Keeping her smile, she sweetly titled her head a little and returned the favour to her friend: "And what about your first kiss, Lavi?"

Here, the redhead exorcist was stuck, and his face fell as he realized that: "Huh? My first kiss? Ah... Uh..."

"This is your idea, so you better answer," stressed out Kanda menacingly, determined on not letting the perpetrator get away with this one, while Allen just sniggered behind his hand.

"Easy, easy. I'm gettin' there," mumbled Lavi meekly, currently lamenting his predicament "So, I...uh... I was undercover once when I was twelve - as part of my Bookman trainin' and all, you know - and I had to get this really important info, yeah? So, I had to get real close to this so-called 'Demon Dragon' guy to get it. A rather likeable guy, in the end, so we became buddy-buddy and all. I eventually cut the act and told him why I came to him in the first place. Instead of gettin' mad, he told me he'd tell me what I came for, on one condition."

As the redhead paused in remembrance and a soft blush crept along his cheeks, it became quite clear to the rest what that condition had been and, while both Allen and Kanda were too staggered to say a word, Lenalee turned beetroot red as she stammered out: "T- That you kiss him?!"

"A good deal in the end. Turned out he was a she in disguise. A lovely tomboy-ish lady, really," revealed Lavi as he recovered, grinning as his companions' jaws dropped, prior to being swift to add before they could ask "Long story for another time."

"Wow," uttered the white-haired boy, slightly in awe, and then, after a moment of taking it in, he turned towards the Japanese swordsman "Uh...What about you, Kanda?"

The ominous, dark glare within those narrowed steel gray eyes was truly terrifying for anyone with enough common sense to register it: "Go die in a fire."

"I know who it was," stated the girl with a raised hand, drawing the others' riveted attention.

Eyes going wide, Kanda's pale features exhibited uncharacteristic mortification: "H-Hey!"

Lenalee in turn completely overlooked his reaction in favour of conspiratorially revealing the swordsman's secret to the other two who were eagerly waiting: "It was Gigi."

A beat of sudden silence, with the exception of a few crickets' racket from outside the window, whereas Lenalee smiled widely, Kanda hid his face in his hands, Lavi and Allen were in suspended stillness.

"HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA?!"

Out of everything they had been expecting, this had not been it. Not even a glimpse of it had featured in their minds. And now, they could not, for thr life of them, flush it out.

"G-Gigi-san?! From the Asian Branch?! Ewwww!"

That was Allen.

"What the HELL?! Why would you kiss him?! I'd kiss guys, sure, but not him! What the heck is wrong with you?!"

And that was Lavi.

"Hey, it wasn't me! Nor did I ask for it to happen!" barked out the swordsman harshly, before letting it all out in an angry and very embarrassed rant "He was drunk, and I barely had the time to react back then. And when I did react, he had been turned into a bloody pulp, don't worry."

At this, the white-haired boy tilted his head slightly with a frown: "Back then? How long ago was it?"

"I was thirteen," muttered the Asian male bitterly, glaring holes into the wooden floorboards.

Torrents of tears gushed from Lavi's eyes as he dramatized: "Oh, poor, poor Yu- You! Your first kiss stolen just like that! No love whatsoever! I feel so, SO sorry for you!"

"Quit it. You're making it sound like something else," hissed out Kanda, not yet over his discomfort, whilst glancing at Lenalee critically who just smiled brightly in response.

"Brr... That is something that I'll have a hard time forgetting. So sorry that happened to you," apologized Allen in all his sincerity, which only served to exasperate the swordsman further.

"I don't see what the big deal is. It happened. End of story. It won't happen again, that's for sure."

"I'm sure," remarked the pigtail-haired girl assuredly, before turning her focus upon the boy with a gift for poker, eyeing him intently "What about you, Allen-kun?"

"M-My first kiss?" stuttered Allen, extremely uncomfortable now that it was his turn and even more so when both Lenalee and Lavi nodded encouragingly.

"Wait a second, Lenalee-chan," piped up the redhead exorcist in remembrance, snapping his fingers as he did so "We were there when Road Kamelot kissed him, remember?"

Sighing, the dark green-haired girl appeared completely deterred all of a sudden: "Oh, yeah. That did happen, didn't it?"

"Who?" asked Kanda with a furrowed brow, the name not at all striking him as familiar as he eyed Lenalee worriedly. What was wrong with her?

"Some little Noah girl," mentioned Lenalee offhandedly, her frown deepening a little further.

"Kissed...by a Noah?" echoed Kanda, before he sneered condescendingly, a breath away from laughing aloud "You're the one to feel sorry for, Moyashi."

"She...She wasn't my first kiss," whispered Allen awkwardly, inaudibly, causing the others' interest to perk up, notably when the colour drained out from the boy's cheeks.

"Oh? I was so sure it was," mentioned Lavi, openly surprised, head tilted quizzically "I mean, you're life's been too hectic to have had one before, right?"

In all honesty, Allen really didn't want to share.

However, in all fairness, given that the others had - even Kanda, for Heaven's sake - it wouldn't be reasonable to keep quiet. He could, but he'd rather not, apprehending what his silence on the subject would lead to, as he clearly remembered Bookman Junior mentioning something about that. As such, he'd rather say than do something embarrassing.

Decided but still on edge, he timidly began to recount: "W-Well, it happened when I was ten, and-"

"Whoa! You're the youngest amongst us to get kissed?" the redhead exorcist gaped before he whistled aloud, clearly impressed "Nice!"

"Who was it, Allen-kun?" questioned Lenalee, her tone a little forceful without intending it, once again drawing Kanda's curious and concerned gaze.

His friends' intervention and prying had made him hesitate again, before he indistinctly breathed out something in a whoosh of a whisper, leading the others to blink.

"Uh, Allen-kun? We didn't quite catch that."

The sun was setting and, in a dim, narrow alley, an exhausted ten year old Allen sighed wearily, unsure how he managed to survive yet another day giving it his all to pay back that man's bottomless debts.

Sighing once again, the boy reached for his pockets and drew out what he had earned till this date, before he began counting the notes and coins, all while wondering how on earth he was going to keep all this hidden.

Deeply focused, he didn't pay mind as heavy steps then resounded from behind him, gauchely making their way over to him, right before gloved hands reached out and grabbed him. Startled, Allen let out a squeak, but, as he attempted to react, he was quick to find himself back pressed firmly into the wall before he could do anything.

About to protest vehemently, whatever he had been ready to utter died in his throat, his eyes going wide upon seeing who had him in such a staunch and severe grip.

Him.

Acting instinctively, the boy swiftly and subtly stuffed the money back into his pockets, whilst he stared meekly at the behemoth of a man towering over him, the latter's hands wrapped tightly around Allen's skinny arms. And refusing to let go.

A moment passed and the two were still in the same position, neither moving, one not daring to, and the other...just standing there.

"Uh... M-Master...?" uttered the boy tentatively, as he eyed the other carefully, only the other did not budge or even react.

Although most of his face was curtained by his long, feral, vivid hair, one look at the man's unfocused eyes and Allen knew that the other was drunk. Again.

What the young boy didn't know however was how drunk the man actually was.

Unfortunately, he was quick to find out when the other suddenly dove in close to the boy's stunned face, shocking him further when he smashed their lips together, savagely capturing the younger one's mouth in a searing, drunken kiss.

Eyes going wide at first, Allen then shut his eyes tight as he tried to wriggle free, in vain. The other's hold was far too strong.

The boy's mind was caught somewhere between 'Help me!' and 'Why is this happening?', not at all grasping what had led to this nor what had possessed the other, womanizer as he was, to do this in the first place. It wasn't enough that he was always belittled, mishandled, brutalized by the man. Now this...

Impatiently waiting for this to end, Allen felt instant relief when the man finally pulled away, dragging his thumb over the boy's lip gently - much to the latter's cringing horror - before halting in his movements entirely.

"Huh? Allen?" blinked the frowning man, utterly confused as he took a step back and stared hard at the young boy "What the heck are you doing here? And where's the lovely maiden I just kissed?"

Upon seeing that the other was dead serious, Allen saw blaring red and, without any restraint or remorse, punched the man straight on, sending him flying off into the sky like a shooting star .

By the time the white-haired boy had finished his tale, mortified beyond belief, the other three were simply...too stunned for words - Lavi looked rather aghast, Kanda was definitely horrified, and Lenalee appeared to be completely dismayed - all of them registering only one thing.

"The very first to kiss exorcist Allen Walker was...G-G-GENERAL CROSS MARIAN?!"

The End

**Author's Note:**

> \----
> 
> (1) L'Avenir (literally meaning 'the future') is an uncommon French game where, by citing random facts about what a person dreams of or particularly likes for different categories (ex: numbers, colours, animals, cars, houses...), another person sets them down on a sheet of paper in a specific order, before then crossing everything out (by choosing a number between 1 and 10) until one from each category remains. It used to be a certain craze back then when I was younger. Now, not so much.
> 
> \----
> 
> A/N: I was smiling giddily as I wrote this down, truth to be told, as simple and short as it may be. This idea came to me when I saw (I don't recall in which episode, but I can confirm that it was in the first season) Allen, back to the wall, with Cross Marian towering over him. Of course, originally in that episode, the General was demanding from the poor boy his earnings to go and spend them instead of letting Allen settle Marian's debts.
> 
> With the General's Don Juan demeanour, it wasn't easy to bring this about, and then I don't know why but it struck me as outright hilarious to imagine a drunk Marian confusing Allen with a girl with the latter's feminine looks (and voice actress/seiyu, but that's a detail).
> 
> As for the other three characters, a few explanations (from the most canon to the least canon):
> 
> Kanda: it has been mentioned, in one of those Data book thingies (and it's something also found in Kanda Yu's Trivia on wikia), that Kanda's first kiss was at 13, stolen by a drunk Gigi. I'm simply relaying that fact, that's all.
> 
> Lavi: As he is a Bookman before being an exorcist, I'm imagining that he has done and lived untold tales, especially that he has had Heaven knows how many different identities (more than 50, if I recall). Different identities include different personalities, each one with its specific attributes and set of lies. So, I really wouldn't be surprised to find out that he had to endorse a particular role to acquire info, such as, let's say seducing someone (and being darn good at it), may they be female or male. I personally could see Lavi as bisexual, easy.
> 
> Lenalee: Hypothetically, she hasn't been kissed yet. Why? Two things: her responsibilities as an exorcist cut her off from any love-induced attachments (given that she resents loss), and there's her brother making sure no one gets close to her. Actually, a friend of mine has this frightening theory, in which he quite staunchly believes, that if Komui's social situation were a tad different and if he was a little less of the 'whacko' he portrays, he'd be totally doing his sister. Now, that's creepy, to no end, but it is something, alas, that I now definitely could see as possible. Apart that he is ridiculously good-looking when he is serious (such a rare feat), my thoughts on Komui Lee aren't that great to suggest otherwise anyway (shrugs).
> 
> And so, I truly hoped that you enjoyed this fic as much as I had fun writing this inane attempt at humour. Thank you so much for reading! Have a nice day! Bella Ciao all!


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